:: overcoming ::

these months have been so transformative for me.

as the month of april comes to a close, i can’t help but look at the past and give myself a little review.

there were a lot of things i set out to do this month and most of them have not been completed (yet) due to unforeseen obstacles. i feel like i’ve been saying this every month and i’ll own that. while i have a lot i want to do this year, there’s also a lot i want to overcome as well. if that means some of my projects will be delayed, i’m 100% okay with it!

i’ve done a lot of transforming this year and the month of april has been no different. there’s so much to learn and i’m happy to finally be taking the time to do just that.

i do feel i’m on the cusp of a new chapter in my life, however.

i feel with the flowers, i will bloom in may. it’s really my choice though isn’t it? so that’s what it shall be!

may will be a month of new growth, beautiful blooms and bitching times.

I N D I G A U X X

: full moon in libra 2017 ::

hello celestials.

tomorrow we have a beauty upon us.

a full moon.

tomorrow’s full moon will be a pink full moon in libra.

(no the moon will not literally be pink)

:: insights ::

this pink full moon is in the 7th house conjoined with Jupiter.  a theme with this full moon will be balance. you may attract new relationships or new opportunities, but it will be important that you balance whatever is given to you. it will be important that you decide what is and is not necessary during these times. it will be easy to overwhelm yourself but tuning into these energies will help you release what is not necessary.

with the moon in libra, you may also experience a heightened awareness of those around you. this will make it a great time to connect with others and spread and receive love. this couldn’t have come at a more important time with all of the world events occurring right now. this would be a wonderful time send your love and energy to mama earth and all of those dwelling on her. this could be simply through meditation or even through ritual.

this is also a time to move forward with anything you’ve been resting on, be it a project or speaking to that person you’ve been eyeing. luck is on your side with this full moon but you should still tread carefully as mercury, venus, jupiter, and saturn are retrograde. with these retrogrades, it is great to review. take note of your intuition as well. if an opportunity truly feels great, take it! if there are hesitations, doubts or if you feel you may potentially biting of more than you can chew, don’t move forward!

we also have the sun in aries in conjunction with Uranus. this is going to help you become open to high vibrations which will aide you in spiritual growth. may even help you with psychic growth as you become more aware of the energies around you.

overall, we have a very powerful full moon this time around! if you connect with these energies and sow positive seeds and do your best to stay balanced, you will reap the benefits. while this is a lucky time, it can be unlucky as well so really tap into your awareness!

have a beautiful full moon celestials

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:: favorite human of the month ::

i haven’t done a favorite human piece in forever.

why?

i just didn’t find anyone who i wanted to write about. i didn’t have any inspiration.

i don’t want to scrap this little segment though so i’m going to revamp it a bit.

it’s going to be a slow change. over time, i’d like to actually photograph people and get to know then one-on-one. but until then, i will write about the wonderful people i come across and when i can, i hope to get some inside look into their head, their madness.

with social media  being the way it is right now, we sometimes get caught up in the idea that people are only what we see on social media. that’s the farthest from the truth. people are multi-faceted with many of the sides being unknown to their social media viewers.

i’d like to bridge that cap, even if it’s a tiny bridge and show a little peak into these worlds. i think it would hold a pleasant surprise.

:: indigauxx’s introspection ::

a couple of days ago i was set on a whirlwind. the universe “love tapped” me with a reality check and life began to shift. i was sleepwalking (a post explaining that coming soon).

i snapped back to that things and realized i have work to do. lots of it.

this lead me to have a personal “workshop” of my own this weekend. this post is a little recollection of what i can share. this is a weekend filled with exploration, meditation, journeying, conversations with the universe, my guides, my teachers and everything in between. i’m gearing up for my next task.

:: welcome to indigauxx’s introspection ::

a little diary of my weekend in spirituality, magick and transformation.

:: saturday ::

– 8:00 am –

this morning starts out with me stretching. waking up my body and mind. allowing it to breathe and be. i remember hearing once that humans are the only animals that do not stretch when they wake up.

why is that?

after stretching, i felt great. it felt like energy meridians were awake now as well and the energy was able to flow through me with ease.

from here, i went downstairs and began to watch one of my favorite youtubers, ralph smart, as i did some creative thinking.

– 12:02 pm –

after breakfast, i watched a movie from the 80s with my family. it’s a favorite and it really touches me. past life feelings. after the movie, i talked with my mom and she shared more stories from the island. the history is amazing, especially of our family. much more connected than i imagined!

we started looking at life and making plans to do more connecting with our ancestors and deities. although we are not exactly “westernized” since living in the US and have a fairly solid practice, there is much more we can and should do.

so preparation for that begins!

my parents are heading out now and my brother is taking a nap, so it’s just me time now. what will i do?

– 5:24 pm –

i am back home now. i went out with my mom. visited some family and had great talks about balance between westernization and the opposite along with life choices. i love having these talks, we’re always challenged and it’s great for our evolution.

after visiting family, we were on a little drive and i finished “the mastery of self” FINALLY. i’ve procrastinated on reading that book but let me tell you, it worked out perfectly. the last chapters i had left to read are so pertinent to my life right now, it’s absurd. i couldn’t have planned this more perfectly. don miguel ruiz was always a favorite of mine and his son has become another.

their wisdom touches me deeply and i connect with it so easily.

now, i am sitting in my room. windows bright and open, hearing the sounds of life. i’m trying to figure out what to do next as i type this and right here, i can see a great opportunity.

i have a lot of these moments, where i just sit and think about what to do. time passes me by and i’ve accomplished nothing although having so many things to do. i want to do better!

so rather than aimlessly roaming my phone or thinking, i will clean. there, it’s decided! i want my space to be clean for tonight’s workings and i have the present moment to do it. 🖤

– 9:11 pm –

i just scurried my startled ass downstairs. i was about to workout and walked into the bathroom; closed the door and i don’t know where this bizarre sound manifested from but i scurried my 110 lb self so fast. i know this has to do with my journey earlier but i will write about that in my next update. gahdamnn.

– 12:22 am –

i am exhausted. i can’t wait to go to bed and dream.

a little recollection.

earlier, i did a little journey meditation. i was “in my head” for a bit of it but there was a moment when i decided to just surrender. i surrendered to myself. i surrendered to my authentic self. at that moment, it’s like i entered a shooting portal into this beautiful space. my secret place.

i received some messages in that time. i plan to return tomorrow and receive some more.

later on, i continued on with other tasks for the day. i do feel as though i slacked a bit although i did everything i wanted to do. i do need to be nicer to myself, that much is true. tomorrow, though, i will do my best.

let’s see what my best is.

:: sunday ::

– 9:39 am –

i woke up and at first, i started scrolling on my phone. i quickly caught myself, analyzed how i was feeling at the moment and decided, i was going to start my morning with yoga.

so i did.

i just finished my session and now i am drinking water. this is important. it’s the simplest way i can say thank you to my body. it’s the simplest way i can say “i love you” to me.

now i am going to plan the rest of the day which will including starting a new book, tons of creating, and some magick too.

i’m going to do my best today.

– 10:25 am –

planning the day didn’t take long as i forget i already planned it last night. i started scrolling my phone again and ding! a bell went off. i can see i’m building a helpful habit.

i analyzed how i felt and decided to meditate and speak to the universe, my guides. i will not share much about this session but it was amazing. i cried. i am still crying now. i am forever thankful for every being who has crossed my life and led me to this point. i am forever thankful to the universe. for you, i will continue to do my utter best and work hard.

thank you.

– 12:55 pm –

i finished a little of my work. now i’m waiting in a parking lot for my brother so of course, this is a great time to think and reflect. the next step of my journey is going to be challenging and i will definitely be scouting a new area but i am excited. i can’t wait to share this with you all.

this journey isn’t easy. there are ups and downs but i think what makes the difference is the “value”. it is common to put higher value to negative experiences and lesser values to positive experiences, even if you’re unaware.

a simple example. you bring your books to school everyday for months but just one day, you forgot a book you needed. you are going to beat yourself up for that one negative experience. you may call yourself an idiot. this is going to ruin your whole day. but let’s really take a look at things.

let’s say for a solid 60 days, you brought your books to school not forgetting one, isn’t that something to be proud of! you made a simple human error which compared to the 60 days is nadaaaa. so why beat yourself up? why give that one negative experience greater value?

i think that’s something spirituality teaches you to balance. i’m sure all great spiritual teachers make mistakes and have negative experiences, but they do not give those experiences such great value to the point where it overshadows everything else?

hmm

– 5:10 pm –

i spoke about ups and downs earlier and that’s insane because my day took a down. i definitely wallowed for a bit but then i remembered. i remembered what i said before. this “hurdle” thrown at me is a big one. but of course. it matches this next journey.

i am hopeful that i will jump over it.

i am putting my trust in the universe. i trust that they will help me as long as i keep moving.

it will be fine.

– 7:43 pm –

i am in the car. leaving the beach. i went to my other home. the ocean. i took some time to talk to the ocean spirits, do a little magick and collect whatever they had for me. it’s a wicked experience. i feel much better now and i feel a new sense of hope   and perseverance. once again, thank you to the universe and my guides. 🖤

– 8:25 pm –

although my day isn’t over, this little diary is. this weekend was phenomenal for many reasons. this is a weekend i NEEDED. if you’ve r day everything, thank you, thank you, thank you.

this coming week, i will be sharing something from this weekend. a piece of my new chapter. an in-depth post about it will be made but for a little tease, i will be offering spiritual services such as divination readings, personal workshop plans if you’d like to have a transformative weekend such as the one i just had, and personal one week sessions on different aspects such as starting spirituality, understanding your intuition and more 🖤

this was my introspection 🖤

:: indigauxx ::

:: shlumped and getting over it

my oh my

i truly dig 2017 and the way it is going so far, even with it’s ups and down. i know this is going to be the year i really do shit! it’s all i can do. i’ve spent a lot of time working behind the scenes in my own little bubble and it’s time i pop this little bubble and integrate with the space outside of my bubble.

i was feeling a little shlumped.

so many different emotions and worries and doubts were running through my mind. i was thinking of everything wrong and all of the bad things that could happen. i was falling into traps of self-deprecating behavior.

but

i quickly got myself out of that!

i spent time and let the emotions run through but i did not let them take over. i have found that letting every emotion just flow makes life so much easier. letting every emotion flow with the current instead of trying (and failing) to repress them and go against the current really allows me to see the lesson in these experiences.

i feel rejuvenated!

with that, i am getting into a new groove. keeping/getting back my good habits, tossing the bad ones and replacing those with new good habits. it’s going to be a work of art in progress. it’s truly a balancing act. there will be great days and there will be bad days but every day will be a step closer to my destinations.

i’m going to work on every project i have set in motion with 200% effort and energy. no more half-assing ANYTHING. if i’m going to do it, i’m going to do it all the way. why waste my time doing something, if i’m not going to put my whole heart into it?

i have slacked on this blog and website, only posting the bare minimum but i thank the 25(ish) people who check on this blog fairly regularly. i am currently preparing a lot of content to share on this blog, much more than i have before. no more half-assing this blog!

no more half-assing anything or slacking on anything! this goes for everything. my youtube channel, printables, art, boutique, music, my creative company, absolutely everything.

let’s kick ass.

:: dating myself ::

 

valentine’s day is now over and i spent it happily single.

this year i wanted my focus to be on me and my relationship with me. i wanted to repair anything i broke within myself and build myself to a new height before i even thought about looking for a new potential boyfriend.

i said this last year but threw it all away once i met “a great man”. that situation crashed and burned but what else could i expect? i knew i wasn’t ready for anything, i knew i needed to be alone but i acted like a hungry stray running to every bone thrown at it. (no offense to strays, i want to save you all)

i am working on being nicer to myself but lets call a spade, a spade. i was acting weak and desperate. a man comes into my life treating me HOW i deserve to be treated and i begin contradicting myself?

i was “always available” even though in reality, i was neglecting my friends, family and goals.

i told myself i liked the same things he liked, even though in reality, i hated some of those things.

i told myself he was absolutely amazing, even though in reality, i was subconsciously making excuses for him

i told myself it was all healthy, but it wasn’t. i was desperate for a relationship and he took advantage of that. i’m so very happy now that i can see that. i won’t ever be that girl again and i’ve been tested. “great men” have come into my life but i did not contradict myself and run to any bones. what do i look like?

what? a great man, which all men should be, shows  me the time of day and now i just go back on my word? point is, i am not ready for a relationship right now. point is, i have goals i want to achieve before bringing a man into my life. point is, i call the shots in my life. if all it takes is acting the way everyone should to make me drop myself then i might as well give up and be comfortable with the fact that i won’t find a healthy relationship.

i’ve decided to write a book about this and i hope many people, especially women my age, will be inspired to take control of their life. the healthy relationship starts within. you should be complete and your partner should simply enhance your life.

date yourself and take control of your life.